Day 37: Fighting beetroot

Alas, my scientific experiments have become my destruction. As I sit beneath the couch, listening to my creation destory my ferns in their 19th century pink pots from the reaches of Western Mongolia created by Kim Lung Moggie XI, I contemplate the meaning of goat cheese milk and how, over the years, we have had so much. But I should explain myself.
This morning the sheep and I sat at the table dining on egg marinaded in goat cheese milk when StaSheep complained that we were low on the milk. I, in absoulte horror, checked this fact and discovered he was telling the truth. I slumped miserably in my chair and gazed in sadness at the roof, saying that I would be forced to commit suicide. SheepSta, in a moment of strange intelligence, said that if I could create a super soldier I could destroy the neighbours and get some more milk. I asked the creature where it got this revalation. It said its comic.
Rushing to the compost bin, I removed some disgusting beetroot remains and began my work. It took batteries, it took staples, it took lemonade. But at last, the Beetroot Beaters were done. But, o horror!, they became like Frankenstien's monster and concuted a horrific revenge. Now the neighbours are watching my beloved sheep fight the creatures on the roof while I am trapped in the study. I will try to fight my way out using a Kermit the Frog puppet. Wish me luck!
Yours, as always
Dr BanaNa